pretty flower ugly roots

im coming home

2009-12-12T03:58:00.002+08:00

been missing something, lacking something in my life.

i finally found out what it is,

& now all i have to do is wait for sunday.

disgusted

2009-11-18T00:38:00.001+08:00

humans.

an ungrateful, arrogant, immature, materialistic bunch of ingrates.

and there is also a bad side of them.

someone pushed restart

2009-10-28T11:07:00.002+08:00

thus ends another band, another chapter closes.

well at least this time i was kinda expecting it.

it was more of a revealing of the things never really said.

now begins a new taxing journey of finding my place once again.

i love life, dont you?

unwelcome

2009-10-27T11:00:00.000+08:00

ive this feeling of obscurity.

like im unnoticed, and out of place.

recollection

2009-10-20T19:21:00.001+08:00

bunch of shit i dont want to lose so im just gonna jot them down here.

Csus4 Dmsus2 Cmaj7 Bdim Am
A balanceof repetition & variation
Love tears, shadow over shadow
Keyhole
kick me sign
we've been fighting so long i forgot the reason why
much like being rushed to bloom
when the summer leaves turn gray, when the winter leaves for may
laying down in this empty bed, these vacant sheets
yes well i am here for my daily dose of medicine. oh no my dear, looks like we're suffering from the same sin.
got this nagging feeling, that youre leaving. not for a while but a real long permanent period of time. got this need for kneeling, i need you home right now.
i helped you with your bags when you left
soul purpose
only to find out id been gagged & tailored off
april (:

spirals

2009-10-07T23:31:00.002+08:00

when will everything be okay?

everyone says "everything is gonna be alright."

sure it helps at that time.

but when is it actually gonna be alright?

when can everyone be happy.

my family, my girlfriend, my friends, my band.

@SCHOOL. @HOME. @CHURCH?

when one is doing well, another is eating ground.

cant take this.

fuck. i just want to give up.

i. just. want. to. give. up.

God you need to show me this is worth living again.

cause honestly i think im falling out again.

please catch me. someone.

losing steam

2009-09-30T00:54:00.001+08:00

i need a saviour. i cant do this anymore.

everything around me is falling to pieces,

i need refuge, i need you Jesus.

save me.

sordid habits

2009-09-29T02:45:00.003+08:00

there's an ache in my heart and the hardest part is going to sleep with it.

& there's no one to blame, but me.

2009-09-28T00:31:00.002+08:00

LMFAO this was a conversation I had with Dominic like 2 years ago when we went to take a picture with pokemon in real life then I was supposed to send him that photo. But… yea. Read…… bitch.

Marlon	you know the photo we took with the pokemon
Marlon	sorry yea
Marlon	but my camera sucks
(11:58 PM) marlon (is back:	suddenly not there
(11:58 PM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	qth?
(11:58 PM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	*wth?!?!?!
(11:58 PM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	y?
(11:58 PM) marlon (is back:	idk!
(11:58 PM) marlon (is back:	it said that because reformat dont know what shit
Alviz (Alvis 3^rd Brother)	wah lao
Alviz (Alvis 3^rd Brother)	then we spend 30 bucks for nth
(11:59 PM) marlon (is back:	its weird i have all the photos and videos accept that one photo
(11:59 PM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	wth la
(12:00 AM) marlon (is back:	sorry yea..
(12:00 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	shit man
(12:00 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	totally bummed
(12:00 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	now
(12:00 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	even though i see it
(12:00 AM) marlon (is back:	yea....
(12:00 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	but
(12:00 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	shit
(12:00 AM) marlon (is back:	woah suddenly it appear as my dp idk why!
(12:00 AM) marlon (is back:	shit man miracle
(12:01 AM) marlon (is back:	if you really want it i guess you can screenshot this convo
(12:01 AM) marlon (is back:	then cut out the square
(12:01 AM) marlon (is back:	then put on ur frenstir
(12:01 AM) marlon (is back:	or i could just send it to you
(12:01 AM) marlon (is back:	up to you la
(12:02 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	think the 2nd one ar
(12:02 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	better
(12:02 AM) marlon (is back:	k lor
(12:02 AM) marlon (is back:	if you regret not my borplem
(12:02 AM) marlon (is back:	Initiated a file transfer
(12:02 AM) Alviz (Alvis 3rd:	kkkkk

the calm before the storm

2009-09-23T02:09:00.000+08:00

this fire burns the same way your words cut into me.

i think that everyone needs to know;

you are never really alone.

Because amidst the many voices,

there is always someone whispering "hello."

recoup

2009-09-19T10:50:00.000+08:00

why do i always feel alone?

hiccup.

2009-09-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

now every little second just flies.
i hold on to them like paradise.
i follow every word like streetlights.
i want to fall in love and leave tonight.

my shield is worn

2009-08-11T01:22:00.004+08:00

but the battle is over.

enough of this shit, life is good.
ive the best frakkin' girlfriend anyone could hope to have and ive been having the best of times with my friends and my band.
i dont think the start of school could turn out any better, first few days were weird and awkward but im starting to like school more and more.
my mac is pissing me off but apple's gonna take care of that tmr hahahha sweeet.

april yeap i fucking love you to bits. you're the sweetest thing.

errr.... anyway, ;)
orientation was weird and not really well planned, but it was kinda fun.
foreigners dont suck!!
weird how people are linked though hahah, friends of friends, blablalba.
so i also managed to play dakota for some open mic thing at lasalle and it turned out pretty good.
i fucked up alot but the people around me made me feel okay.
so as ashamed as i am of it, i guess im proud of it in a way too.
no fucking regrets, ever.
if you'd like to see it you could go to this link but i think you have to be my friend on fb or some shit.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=111406134498&ref=mf
thanks babe for being there for me when i needed you most ;)
you're the best.

okay see you in school fxerz

release

2009-07-29T07:40:00.000+08:00

God is good.

trust

2009-07-29T07:01:00.006+08:00

when the happy days tread behind you,

and youre left with sorrow and guilt.

when blame is your only form of relief,

and nothing ends the way you hope it did.

where are you left standing?

what comes next?

where do i go from here?

i dont know the answer but i know a direction.

revive this situation, breathe life into these dead walls.

God, why isnt life easier?

ill have faith and try to be strong.

april i love you with everything i've got.

insipidity

2009-07-23T03:27:00.004+08:00

curses, i told myself to stop saying that :/

well anyway, fuck the past.

its been a real flashback kinda day, looking at my old blog, my old pictures, videos even.

fucking ludicrous!

i feel so lost in time right now.

my body clock's been pretty screwed, i know.

but now my mind is.... fucked.

hahah.

my procrastination has caught up with me, btw.

gotta read, work, jam, prep for school.

school is finally starting(if it sounds like im looking forward to it, well that isnt completely true)

all my plans, drats.

well, ill get back up somehow.

ive got the best friends in the world& the best frakkin gf to keep me on track.

my work-in-progress family is, well.. progressing to say the least.

and when all else fails, ive a great big god on my side.

plus, i gotta fuckin sword! hahah.

so im ready for the world, come on at me!

bringit.

teck t

2009-07-12T05:43:00.000+08:00

no matter what, bro.
hang in there.

baby

2009-06-02T19:10:00.002+08:00

there isn't anyone quite like you april.
no one has that smile you have, that beautiful smile.
no one grabs my hand the way you do, no one takes my breath away the way you do.
not anyone like april, with a temper like april.
with a laugh like hers, with a heart like hers.
&i am quite aware that losing you is something that i cant let happen.

"i feel im just a tad selfish, cause i dont want you to leave.
i dont wanna deal with this void, i have, when you're not beside me."

falling slowly

2009-05-31T16:10:00.003+08:00

"take this sinking boat and point it home
we've still got time
raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
you've made it now"

so hello, been awhile?
amazingly i havent been up to much.
just some recent band dilemmas, no biggie, kinda.
realized afew things from a clear recording we recently got.
God, thank god for grace.

been working, 2 jobs for a tiny period of time!
crazy!
things have been going steadily uphill, only better things to come i figure.
there's been alotta shit happening but alot of.. unshit happening too,

currently on a weird turn of direction on my part, though.
im reading a book, cleaning up my room.
other things i'd like to get done is some piano/keyb practicing, ear training, vox developing(?), music theory.
gotta surprise for all my buds who give a shit about my band soon, but by soon i mean like 3 months? haha.. sorry!
btw i hate ns. fukin twats, now i gotta defer it since im 17 1/2. cuntsicle.
sg, fu.

so liz's party was cooool i love ants x2 now!
hahah &poly people have their holidays to look forward to, so i can look forward to their company! sweeet,,,.

oh well, prolly gonna be another few weeks before i decide to type shit here again.
its so weird that friendster is OLD SCHOOL now! shit!! hah, k bye fux.

"you have suffered enough
and warred with yourself
it's time that you won"

anticipating

2009-04-22T02:05:00.002+08:00

for as long as i can remember,
i have only let the people i love down.
anyone who relied on me only got disappointing results.
well, not anymore.
God, help me with this one.
i will embrace change.

scooby dooby doo

2009-04-19T08:14:00.003+08:00

gota head off to work soon, pretty bittersweet at this moment.
didnt have much sleep, had to put off church cause of my week's laziness.

everything's looking pretty bright right now,
been feeling pretty good thanks to the big man up there.
i feel, special &.. well quite frankly blessed.
life's just getting better and im happy for change, this time.
its weird, to be happy amidst change.
hmm,,.

well, in other news, my musical direction has been going everywhere,
but a much needed reassurance about iatrogic has been reinforced by the
Almighty himself, thanks daddy!
im guessing only good things are going to amount in the near future.
you said you would, i believe you would, and you did.
im not afraid anymore.
overcomers, indeed!

far away

2009-04-15T06:00:00.001+08:00

when im breathing in, i feel so alive.
but when im breathing out, i feel like im dying.
there's gotta be something wrong with me,
or is something just, missing?

praise the war machine

2009-04-02T04:06:00.004+08:00

i am starting to do things ive never done before.
things i wouldnt have done if i hadnt changed. well, actually id rather say adapted.
actually im pretty much the same fag. just that im starting to care less about what people have to say about me.
like seriously not giving a shit, and im happy my real people still accept me, just the way i am.
so, much love for you people.

everything's moving, twirling. feels like my first blog post.
its getting really crazy here.
ive an actual stable job right now, pretty permanent actually. cause im working for my old man :)
been spending awesome times with dad, im really happy this whole hoa thing has happened.
ive no school til august so i guess working will basically make up my weeks, especially since my friends are all going to start school soon.
no fucking bus concession for us lasalle kids. not til august, at least.
so now im stuck, paying like an adult.
cunt. ill try feigning my youth and paying by coinsssss kakakakka.

gonna be a lonely boi at the studio, hit me up if you wanna come by.
also, how much, you think, should be in my ezlink card?
btw i changed my wallet! hahah my really old one finally gave out.
well im looking forward to the weeks ahead, change always sucks, but is always exciting.
i think this time change comes around, im going to anticipate it.
cause i know this time round its going to be great ;)

"yesterday's gone, tomorrow's not even here.
all you have is today, so spend your day well.
take a day at a time, son.
a day at a time. "

06 - metapod probably kicked your ass when you were a kid

2009-03-16T03:04:00.002+08:00

myspace.com/getparaphobic, enough said.

if it isnt good, it isnt over.

2009-02-27T03:59:00.003+08:00

my days have been dosed with complications with my heart
& disorientation in my head. yet, a strange settling around my feet.
hectic, defaced, unprepared, unsure.
ive been too preoccupied with feeding my ego to bother to start
really caring about the important things in life.
i think ive just been caught up with all this change gushing about.
"all in due time, son. i have my reasons."
a calm peace seeps into my soul.
im trusting you, but i know you wont let me down.

cannibal carnival

2009-02-23T04:00:00.010+08:00

death drips from the serpent's lips.
swarms of foul carrion dress these streets.
the innocent, surrounded by famished teeth.
"please exit the building in an orderly fashion."

indolence. esurience. avarice. lascivious. malevolence. hubris. carnage.
we will consume.
with each perishing sun, the darkness grows stronger.
vile creatures spew heaps of flesh, left to simmer on carcass gravel.
persecuted sons of Adam, penurious, unchaste.
stowaways lost deep in these treacherous trenches.
victims to snide whispers and thoughts of sheer malice.
feeding the famine, drinking from drought.
fallen angels, forged halos, false revelations, fork tongues.

the just shall live by faith alone.
we will sustain.

'O Spirit, speak peace to my tired soul in these harsh times of need.'

the son of the morning star will crush the serpent's head.
"apocarelapse"

piecing it together

2009-02-18T05:05:00.003+08:00

just like the words, we used to say.
just like the battles, we fought before.
just like our bodies, and our souls.
fade away, just like our memories.
fade away, just like our families.

a vacant affair, prolly the best thing out of singapore in a really long time.

been awhile? yea.
been on facebook more than friendster. actually havent been to friendster in a long, long time!
i haven't been online as often as i used to, either.
been pretty occupied these days, with my portfolio, the studio, applications, testimonials, assignments, no time for the internet!!
gotta practice songs, record songs, maintain everything i've in place so far.
thing's have been pretty good actually.
i feel everything's coming together, many things have turned out pretty good.
alot of shit has happend too.
like how i LOST MY FAVOURITE BANDANA, LIKE. EVER.
fucking sucked.
dammit.
picked up the keyboard, i think im going to get a roland smthsmth 555. or 404.
well thats not a keyboard, a sampler actually. its really, really awesome.
its either i get that or when i do get a laptop ill 'buy' software that does all that shit.
but would you like a separate thing that is cool and pulsating and you can tweak different noises and beats out of it?! yea?!!!
ok gotta get up at 8/9 later. fuck.
god bless me, god bless you. love you, goodnight.

calling all creeps

2009-01-29T04:50:00.003+08:00

okay. ive decided to let go and be the 'bigger BIGGER' person.
idk which is right or wrong, but i know its been too long.
eyer i didnt mean for that to rhyme! haha.

so im pretty much done with cannibal carnival, just need some much sought out opinions.
iatrogic is in need of a guitarist, like even a sessionist, idc!
just someone who's good at guitar and willing to
put some time into screwing around & having fun. please get in touch with me.
you're gonna need to at least like grind, punk/pop punk, techno, rock n roll,
hillsongs lol, ALOT OF MATH[(core) i hate the term 'core'] and alot of experimental shit.
we're not exactly pros but we're getting there. just talk to me or smth okay.
im getting despo,,,.,.,

alot of fallouts this 09',
but there were alot of reconciliations as well.
but nevertheless, i am happy.
happy towards the future, happy with my family, with my friends;
even when they all arent exactly perfect.
ive learnt to accept that change is inevitable, but God has his reasons.

so blow wind, blow. im ready to sway.
im ready to go to wherever you take me.
whatever's in store, i know that im safe.
cause when everything's ablur, i know you're awake.

or so it seems.

2009-01-26T03:17:00.003+08:00

so it turns out im not the worst at replying messages or staying in contact, whatever.
i've come to notice that there is a huge gap between REASON & EXCUSE.
choose your words wisely, and dont say things you'll soon regret.
cause lies must be covered with more lies, and those with even more.
so you're gonna have to stop sometime, and the longer you go on,
the deeper your grave is gonna be and the harder it will be getting out of it.

they say forgive and forget.
i know i can forgive, but i really want to forget.
if i could i'd choose to forget alot of things.
but i guess my own life isnt always up to me, haha.
life is funny.
btw, thanks everyone for the lovely critique.
(THIS IS ACTUALLY A BIG, SARCASTIC 'FUCK YOU'.)

hahah i think i come off as very, very standoffish.
but really im not. ahh im barely sane and hardly awake.
sibani got me up watching japanese guys getting the nutcracker and getting S&M-ed, HAHA.
what was i thinking putting my shit up here. i suckkk. ahhhhhhhhh.
h8h8h8h8h8h888h88h8h8h8h8.
i read my blog and the very term blog seems so pathetic to me.
i=pathetic. fuck i think the sleepless-ness is seriously getting to me.
okay, see you around.

im happy you've almost found your shadow.
cause i've been aching for just a little more shade in my own.

take me down

2009-01-16T06:28:00.004+08:00

when people dont care, they really just dont care.
i cant force anyone to really give a shit about me, it hurts, yes.
but since when did the truth stop hurting?
exactly my point.
so i guess thats the fullstop in that paragraph.

i feel so distant today. so far away, from everything i knew.
i just keep pushing and pushing.
but i mean, give me a break.
im a person too, right?
i think i deserve an apology once in awhile.
i think i dont have to be the 'bigger person' all the time.
fuck i'm just as imperfect as anyone of you.
cut me some slack.

so anyway, i went to pay a long awaited visit to post-op girl sam today.
had a real great time, should i post the results of our efforts?
hah. well, why not?
she's crazy mad good at keys and music in general haha ;)
this is one of our takes at one of my old songs.
half of the actual song actually haha. k maybe a little more than half.
when there's a proper one i'll update it okay?
please comment me with opinions and criticism(s) regarding the song,
i'd seriously appreciate it. if you know me or not, just give me something to work on.
oh yeah, i dont say this enough. i love all of you guys. all of my friends, my family.
i know i've been a real prick these days, and as you know me, im the worst at replying messages.
arrggh.
so til another day, ttyl.

PS: scroll all the way down to hear the track.

time has the habit of slipping away

2009-01-15T00:31:00.002+08:00

i think there was still a little alcohol still lingering in my brain when i was sleeping
cause i dreamt of strangling a squirrel. yea it was pretty weird.
it bit me :(
so i've a big 22 for everyone to laugh it.
but hey, its not over yet.
God you still have space to shine through my life,
and i still have hope.
so we'll talk another day.
for now, date me plz im dying to get shitfaced.

dakota

2009-01-11T04:35:00.004+08:00

i dread letting the past go.
but i think im ready to handle change,
cause im pretty fucking excited.
new people, new enviroment.
ill be going to a new school, a new class.
a new caregroup? a new hangout.
new studio, new workplace.

monday's gonna be awesome.
not cause i deserve it,
not cause i think things'll turn out good,
but solely because you've said it will be okay.
everything's gonna be okay.
results dont spell my future,
cause no one has the last say
except you.

{habakkuk 3:18}

2009-01-02T17:51:00.000+08:00

thrown, scattered.
much like a bag of disgruntled seeds sprinkled on concrete ground,
hoping to thrive on,
to flourish,
and praying to fall between the cracks.

turning tables

2009-01-02T09:17:00.004+08:00

an evil is creeping up behind me, or from inside of me. idk.
but i do feel this peculiar wickedness overwhelming me.
i love how i am twisted into being the bad guy now, i really do.
its somewhat exciting to see how many imbeciles plague my life.
though it hurts a whole deal.
i cant believe its 2009. i mean seriously, wtf?
gah. im prolly speaking like this cause i pulled another one nighter,
which is the only way anyone can catch me in the morning.
im tired and left alone.
alone with my thoughts, with my echos, with my hollowed self.

ive been terrible actually, now that i think of it.
selfish most of the time.
ive hurt so many.
ive hurt april, ive hurt my friends, my family.
honestly, im sorry. i really am.
i know how awful of a person i am.
but will any of you forgive me? well, thats really up to you.
we are all pretty evil in our own ways i guess.
hurt people hurt people, so i guess im hurt somewhere.

on a lighter note, im hoping for a theremin in the mail sometime soon.
something to look forward to.
& you know what?
im gonna be gay and write things i hope to do/change this year.
-reconcile
-lay down some material
-get a stable lineup
-pray more
-go to church more, like srsly i need to hear that voice again
-meet more people
-remember stuff better

wtf i had a list in my head but this is all i can come up with right now.
curses.
so ive decided to keep my deformed carebear home for now,
cause i previously forgot that i dont give a shit about people.
next time someone mentions my crap ill just give them the finger.
well, i will..
if i remember.

lacking

2008-12-30T23:14:00.003+08:00

something that should be there isnt.
and geez, im sick of the same wind blowing in my face.
give me a break Lucifer, you know youre on the losing side.
people in general are selfish, greedy things.
i wish we'd just lay our egos on the ground and stop praising ourselves
and start giving praise where its due.
what do you deserve? nothing.
we all dont deserve anything. we breathe by faith.
we're all standing on borrowed ground.
who do you think you are?
we live on mercy, we live because someone's letting us.
someone's holding onto us, and believing in us.
and i think its about time we start to believe in him too.

apart from my "mushy emo crap",
i think im going to change addresses really soon cause im getting sick of people telling me how much of a sap i am.
doesnt anyone read in context?
this shitjournal is for me to record my thoughts whenever i feel like it.
i may not have many, or any actually, happy "hey i went to the mall today" posts
cause that isnt what i meant for this to be all about.
so, goodbye?
lets just leave it at that.

watch 'home alone'

2008-12-25T04:56:00.006+08:00

memories of christmas morning can never outweigh the memories made this christmas,
well, eve actually.
dinner with my family was so cozy, so hearty and
i loved my christmas so so much.
though i craved for the morning of christmas day, where i'd run out of bed and wake mommy and daddy to tell them im awake.
cause that meant i could open all my presents overcrowding that tree.
if the tree were alive i swear it would suffocate.
we'd open our presents and say thank you, and play with the toys while nestled so warmly in mom's arms.

& now we're all grown up.
well not really, but a significant change nonetheless.
presents have grown up too,
and this year is definitely my favorite, not because of the gifts but
because of the thought and intent put into each and every one of them.
i think i've learnt to love and to cherish a tiny bit more, like i've been wishing, hoping & yearning for.
alot of people are missing this christmas, but i believe they're having a blessed christmas as well.
i love my God, i love my mom, i love my dad, i love my sister, i love my friends.
i am truly blessed. though so many times i look out for so much more.
though i am truly flawed, these people accept me as i am and still have the heart to love me.
for that, i thank God for each and everyone of you in my life.
love is the greatest present anyone can have this christmas,
the best thing is that every single person is given this gift,
and im glad i have the vision to see that i've received mine,
over and abundantly.
hallelujah.

"i keep forgetting how par feels like,
keep forgetting what its like being underneath it.
but now i know where you are."

middle of nowhere

2008-12-19T02:06:00.000+08:00

¿?

2008-12-19T01:34:00.006+08:00

today, i threw away something so vague but so important.
maybe i should hold on to that miscible thought.
hold on to that potential.
hold on/let go.
i dont know.
cause you dont know me.
this situation i find myself in happens way too often in my life.
i think im a problem.
i think im the problem.
maybe pretty faces arent what i need right now,
but a heart would do just nicely.
i need to get my head out of the clouds, i need to focus.
who am i really?
or rather, who have i become?

to pause and ponder,

2008-12-10T21:23:00.002+08:00

"the Pharisees, in an attempt to discredit Jesus, brought a woman charged with adultery before him. They then reminded Jesus that adultery was punishable by stoning under Mosaic law and challenged him to judge the woman so that they might then accuse him of disobeying the law. Jesus thought for a moment and then replied, “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone.” The people crowded around him were so touched by their own consciences that they departed. When Jesus found himself alone with the woman, he asked her who were her accusers. She replied, “No mortal, lord.” Jesus then said, “Neither do I condemn thee: go and sin no more.”

a proposition,,

2008-12-08T04:38:00.002+08:00

hit back to focus,
get your own shadow.

though the clarity is vague,

2008-12-01T22:55:00.007+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXEJM-HaOos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWZNRC9m6Q0&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuGRqoWmb2Q&feature=channel
{KAY END OF DARREL SECTION BOLD ONE IS IMPT COOLSHIT}
just put this on here cause i think ill forget if i wait any longer.
looks like i may not be seeing much stage for quite some time, prolly cause we're now busy getting good and taking our time, setting the pace, saving up to improve on gear.
im finished with my room :()!
ok actually im not that finished.
but i can sleep in it now >8]
my schedule right now =
tuesday
`clean the entire house cause i messed it up while tearing down the walls,
`maybe start decorating some of my room's walls.
wednesday
`buy shit in the morning, supplies, maybe hunt for a mini aircon for those hot singapore days,
`get to work, by actually decorating and shit,
day of thurs
gonna meet sam i think idk haha maybe record some stuff for her.
friday
`jam 'chased through the woods..' finally, but ming not free :( nvm get our skilz and time together first.
`hang out do stupid stuff
___
apart from that, idk whether i should go to arrow like im pretty much alone there damn nigga.
im gonna start finishing up 'this is the ultimate weapon, let me show you how to use it (the boy with dinosaur hands)', 'carnivore carnival' & maybe 'Pandora's lunchbox'.
Priority being 'this is the ultimate weapon, let me show you how to use it (the boy with dinosaur hands)' cause i've a reasonable layout and stuff for it. maybe ill meet up with dominic or smth and write with him(BETTER GET READY BUDDY 4 @SEckS) @ being anal.
well, happy days ahead, looks like my holidays are pretty much filled with music and errands.
later days people, sad smileys to all, with a cherry on top.
faith= believing and therefore speaking.

these clothes dont fit me anymore.

2008-11-25T03:56:00.001+08:00

the ascent is worth the decline?
the ascent is worth the decline.

'Id steal your eyes,
just so you can never see me fall.
And Id steal your tongue,
just so you could never tell me to let go again.'

the pain from an old wound.

2008-11-16T00:58:00.004+08:00

well o's are finally over,
& im starting all over again with most things.
waiting for people to fucking ask me out
cause i havent seen many people in quite a bit.
im ultra free now geez someone just tell me
"EH, 1,2,GO OWT?!!"
& ill be like "K ARZZ!"
hah. alot of people are like way different.
anyone who wants koolaid with pearls, come to my place for some C:
kekekekkekekeh.
im praying for a good holiday, a productive one, an AWESOME one.
but all my friends are like, not on holiday! that sucks.
i think im gonna paint and reinvent my room like i always said i would.
yeah thats what im gonna do. then anyone who wants to watch old school movies
like gremlins, all dogs go to heaven, the adams family, pornopornoxxx can just come to my sex palace and watch my laser discs hahaha.
i need to find another use for my fam's LDs besides ROTTING.
we can play psx games too.......... haha graphics no.1
and to anyone who is going for grindfest(??), 6th dec, please tell me so
we can have sex with each other.
my friends heavily influence the way i type.
smexatious.

you hear my cry for clarity

2008-10-18T05:43:00.003+08:00

he alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and i am trusting him.
no evil will conquer me,
no plague will come near my dwelling.
the Lord will rescue me,
he will protect me.
he will answer me when i call,
he will be with me in trouble.
he will rescue me and honor me.
__
i'm polished, i'm shiny
you knew i'd come
you were just waiting for me to say

'wont you rescue me?'
well, i am sorry
that i took so long
to ask for your hand

oh take me home
please get me
back into your arms

complacent.

2008-10-07T02:28:00.003+08:00

here i am lying down, resting.
out there's a world so colorful, so alive, so robust.
here i am lying down, resting.
my allies they are ready, prepared for inequity.
here i am lying down, resting.
the future, so unsure, so deserted, so near.
here i am lying down, rusting.

i've come to realize that things will never go the way you picture it in your head.
life is made to be so unpredictable.
i just sit here, and i watch everything pass me by.

a rainbow around my throat.
burned the noose, i wrapped around my neck.
___________________________.
such a warmth is wrapped around me.

another ditch i've dug myself.

2008-09-23T00:48:00.005+08:00

im on the edge, i may actually already be over it.
i cant believe such a tiny morsel of inequity could break me down.
i need alleviation.
this yolk is way too heavy.
i cant do this, more so alone.
im so fucking sad and i dont know why.
the future is so unsure. i feel so, powerless.
so alone, so fucking incompetent.
im weak, in so many ways.
im so way below.
something help me someone, anyone.
i cant do this alone anymore.
i need you, God.
i hope you find me soon.
before there's nothing left.
cause right now i've nothing left to hold on to.

tailored sheets,

2008-08-19T11:13:00.003+08:00

prelims.
today i was late for my math xam, only completed half the paper :/
that sucks, cause i felt like i could actually do it.
oh well.
&tmr's english p2, bio p1.
life's been uneasy.
turns out im sessioning for hxc permanently for z2h ahhaha.
its fun anyway,, since my band is on hiatus, i can musically splurge there.
OH YEA, http://myspace.com/getparaphobic
so how've you been?
im going to go meet april (: in like 2 hours im happy yay.
i miss her alot.
study date :]
we have another date aft prelims im elatedd
gahhhhh april i love you.
i havent seen sam in :O >:(
she's !!!!11!1!!!!!! meet soon k?!!1
dont care,,.
suicide season's coming out.
the new guitar tone sucks but other than that i think bmth's latest effort is going to explode.
after listening to 3 new tracks i already feel count your blessings is not up to par.
though the comedown and chelsea smile do sound alike.
i honestly have no idea why im saying this but wtf right?
i dont understand the hate everyone has for bmth, just cause they are the reason alot of chicks
are into "DeAtHcOrR3".
oli skyes is a dick, but he's a talented vocalist.
lol im listening to the maine covering i wanna love you.
its kinky,,
NEW EMAROSA>OLD EMAROSA.
welcome to the new era of rock.
so im off to meet my girl, hope she doesnt read this cause
i plan to surprise her by being pretty early.
i guess it would help if i got offline HAHAHA.
LOVE YOU APRIL.
with all my heart,
marlon.

a newspaper three days old

2008-08-12T02:00:00.002+08:00

im choosing not to care,
& choosing to be happy.

shells

2008-07-14T01:19:00.002+08:00

its weird, while uncovering layers and layers of something you adore,
you find something you dont exactly admire,
something you dont want to accept.
you stop at that sheet, and stare at it.
you'll study it, and concentrate on how much it tarnishes
the very substance you hold so tightly in your arms.
life is very hard for me to accept right now.
how unfair things seem and how unfair they may seem to be.
but nothing is exempt from the winds of change.
i am aware of my many shortcomings, my many disadvantages.
but i live in hope of acceptance,
i live in hope of an unconditional kind of welcoming.
heart over matter, i tell myself constantly.
i live by these words, yet i still grow weaker.
i'd bet that what i have is not enough.
i'd win that bet because i've nothing to offer.
still, i mutter to myself, though horridly unsure,
"made perfect in my weakness,
made perfect in my weakness."

i feel like

2008-07-01T22:50:00.001+08:00

im crowded

2008-06-30T01:22:00.002+08:00

if i could take you away from all of this, i would.
i'd whisk you away.
we'd spend days on end,
on fields of cloudy afternoons.
with the sun constantly setting and the moon shaded blue.
it'd be nice to have some of your time,
to have you to smile,
to have you.

this sums it up

2008-06-23T02:29:00.001+08:00

2008-06-22T23:41:00.002+08:00

i miss it.
i feel like shit.

concentrating on concentrating.

2008-06-02T18:35:00.002+08:00

cant keep still, cant keep my eyes on paper.
i want to but i cant.
i need to but i cant.
O's are pretty near.
fruckkk.
ansen's party was pretty fun haha :)
met a band called soundtrack revenge.
drank til my balance was awesome hahaa
it was really funny when guys started watched rape videos.
sad though :(
damn gay.
food was mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
hahah, i realized i havent been on this blog for way long.
the band's got our recording back, IT SUCKS. no vox tho.
drums outta time, smth went wrong with the guitars.
i cant even hear the bass actually.
rerecording soon.
hopefully its not going to SUCK.
haha :)
wednesday's doomsday.
there's a spa test thats the last o level shitty thingy.
it really sucks cause im really slacking.
so much to be done and im either on the computer or watching teevee.
damn i need help.
like forceful help.
like rape-kind of help but its like not sexual and actually benefits me.
haha!
i need to start doing, something!
damn, i think im going to start studying like, right now! :)
wish me success, pray for me, anything! plzzzzzzzzz.
thanks guys have fun being alive.
lol(LOTS OF LOVE),
marlon.

its been awhile

2008-04-25T22:50:00.002+08:00

well hello again.
its been quite a while hasn't it.
i've been online, just begging to do something since 8+ cause i was so bored the whole day.
i fardded around and then suddenly got onto blogger 0.o
so here i am.
its almost 11, im tired from doing nothing actually.
roaming around.
im pretty dead nowadays.
thank god for a gig tomorrow.
hope to finally have some fun.
i hate exam period.
i really need to hit the books but i seem to really suck at it.
grahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i might be helping slathe out with guitars while my band is temporarily defunct.
oh yea our recording fluked so we just jammed for 3 hours.
the song's like, wayy awesome now.
i have afew more songs but i think we'll just gonna have to wait on those.
once we really start getting our time freed up
after o's.
its gonna be disaster for singapore, paradise for us.
we gona tear up this shit hole! :D
my fingers are way too itchy.
i already miss jamming with i forgot.
its been what, 4days.
GOD.
i need to hit books and brushing up on my shit.
this week's been so mellow but im counting on God's harvest.
its gonna be sooooooooooooooo fruitful.
damn cant wait.
but i will i guess haha not like i have a choice.
best thing i've done this week is clean my room.
oihrewhkmafnlkj4h3r5klslakfj089us0fu
im so like. woah idk.
so bye people.
myspace.com/getparaphobic

clarity

2008-03-31T21:27:00.003+08:00

today i cried.
idk why, but i know it wasn't because of mere sadness.
not because i was badly treated, i was unfairly accused.
but i think, and am, pretty sure, i cried out of thanksgiving.
cause it was a happy kind of cry.
i feel so new, so polished.
so in place.
so right.
so favoured.
i felt like i belonged.
and it didnt matter what i did, but just that i was here and am willing to be here.
God, use me.
thank you so much you know?
i was just suddenly struck by your presence.
by your loving words.
i really cant believe people dont believe in God.
or doubt his love.
though that's a road i take many times, God always leads me back to his heart.
and i thank God for that.
my wounds are healed, my thoughts clear.
i know im not perfect but i make God proud.
thank God for God.
to anyone who doesn't believe in God, you are really missing out.
go for it, i say. honestly, what do you have to lose?
your ego?
pride takes away too much.
i know, i'm not perfect.
i dont need to say that for you to know that.
but i know for a fact God is real.
and that he is doing something amazing in my life.
and i cant wait to show how real he is.
i am aware of my shortcomings but i am more aware of how much Jesus has done for me.
Jesus, without you, i am nothing.
i know i will fall again.
but you will most definitely pick me up.
and i'll be higher than where i fell from.

idk

2008-03-19T18:23:00.000+08:00

i hope everything turns out okay.
i should cut off my hands for meddling with this.
i put it in your hands now.
help me find myself dad.
i need you more than ever.

2008-02-28T19:39:00.004+08:00

i cannot understand why when i go to talk to you,
apologize, nicely.
ask you for help, tell you why im being so shitty.
you have to push me down even deeper.
expose all my fucking weaknesses, tell me everything that i'm doing wrong.
cause, i KNOW wtf is wrong with me.
well, maybe i don't know everything that is wrong with me.
but i can see what you are looking at too.
i know i fucking suck at doing work, i know, im a really fucking bad son.
i know how much you guys have worked for me to be better.
but it just makes me feel even worse when i go to you for help but get pushed back into the deep end.
its not helping.
all im asking for is understanding and help, i know your trying but i need some support.
fuck, why does everything have to be so screwed up.
fuck, why do i have to be so fucking screwed up.
why can't i be my perfect sister.
i'm sorry i'm not, okay?
i really am.
im fucking sorry mom, i wish i wasn't such a disappointment.

a loss of control, we lost it.

2008-02-27T00:42:00.003+08:00

its 12:45, there's school tomorrow there's controversy everywhere.
sometimes i wish life was a tiny bit simpler.
folding end over end over end over, end.
everything's just not in place.
most of me burns but it does not hurt.
i feel so scattered, why does that sound so familiar.
i hate living in a mess.
its really creepy.
creepy creeps me out.
i dont want to go to school i want to play music.
i'm just drawn to my guitar so so so so much.
i know my priorities bla bla o's are important.
but music feels like my life.
i feel so, home, singing.
"Sing, O Barren."
well God, i'm singing.
Daddy you have my battles in your hands, give me something to hold on to this year.
give me something so strong.
idk what's up ahead these times.
but i know your hand is in mine, storm or not.

new song

2008-02-17T20:45:00.001+08:00

"The Clean Man, coming into my house. The Clean Man, washing my dishes. He can't hide from the police, yes he can. He won't leave my kids alone. He washed a shirt. The Clean Man, killed my bird. He washed its head clean off. Clean off. I'm The Clean Man. But that's just my opinion."

lyrics, but not written by us.
just needed to put this down here so i wouldnt forget haha.
later aligat0rism

oki doki!

2008-01-30T19:11:00.000+08:00

hey guys i know its been way too long
things've been hectic yet i think i could've squeezed in a blog entry or two but i am to lazy.
i am going to do math after this post.
yay4mi.
anyway, how's things been going on with you?
haha, well if you're wondering, mine's been pretty good.
school's been fast.
like its already a month and only 8 more of these little buggers before O's are here and we all know what post-O's are gonna be like.
its gonna be a fukin' party!
i forgot just finished our song and we're really happy with it(i am)
and we have afew covers done, all we need is jon to finish learning them, FINISH, cause he's started learning it!
woohooo!
finally after like 3 months of us practicing he is just integrating with us and learning the guitar for mhall.
it really sounds awesome to me, duh cause we wrote it and am damn excited for post-O's.
i hate living in the future but i can't help it.
for now its books books books books.
occasional jamming, books again.
meet up with friendlings, then books again.
we're thinking of recording our song live @ beat merchants, but we need to record two songs there.
so maybe a cover? idk.
school's been pretty okay.
i realized i really thank God for my family.
though at times broken up, i still love each one of them.
also i love my band brothers aswell, though we fight alot, small squabbles here and there.
i think we have ego problems but im praying and hoping they'll pass in time.
really enjoy all the time we spend together guys :)
i really love making music.
that's one thing i really noticed this week.
i fking love it so fking much.
idk.
fk is the only adjective i can think of atm.
sorry :(
fk=friendly king, okay?
haha.
so do your homework, stay off drugs and have a happy new year!
a happy ChInEsE new year!

guess who's back.

2008-01-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

im back from the temporary hiatus,
either too busy to blog, cant be bothered or my computer is sick.
its getting healed as we speak and needs some rest
currently on my sister's laptop haaha :0 :)
so happy english new year and merry of the christmas.
school's back, hair's gone.
my mohawk plans got fuxed cause kim siong came to school with one so i didnt want to be a fag and get come to school on the 2nd day with my mohawk.
damn sad and depressed from that.
so im just skin heading now.
i did have my mohawk however for about 2 hours.
and yes i was a fag and took a picture of it c:

sorry im so gay.
so basically i havent fully finished any homework.
gotta get up @6 on a SATURDAY(tmr)
to collect money.
cip sux.
i mean i love helping out and stuff. like the people who need help.
but i hate it when we are FORCED.
especially FORCED to be a nuisance.
so spent many of the last few days with i forgot, at school, and also with genocide!
spent new years with i forgot, mat & shirmenhihhs.
sorry i suck at speeling ur namex.
had loads of fun doing shit we normally do.
lmao. i lurrbie luffiez ur guys.
miss christ gang too.
i havent seen them like together, for ages.
this year is gonna be different man.
totally iforgot attempted to lay down some trax for the new song.
(first song lmao)
so we recorded the guitar, bass.
but i guess a laptop, some cables, speakers, and alotta converters, aren't what gets the job done.
oh yea quick note- GENOCIDE KILLS.
okay, back.
so we got bass lines, guitar licks, crummy drums, and no vox.
also, MOST OF ALL, alot of fuzz.
so we just jammed haha.
the new song is coming on great, it just sucks that we need a guitarist/vox.
JON. come to rescue plz.
thx.
ne way.
im botak now.
grr.
hate it.
but its okay
i donthave to care about how i look anymore.
i think this post is gonna have alort ob nys inglis.
dun care.
fuk it all im botak.
night guyz.
ITZ STRET STYL.

way out of focus

2007-12-15T00:18:00.000+08:00

i have 10 days to
get presents for people i love,
celebrate sibani's birthday,
finish a shitload of homework,
and 2 of them are potentially gone.
so i have 8 days left.
fuck.

deathburgerz and dexter's laboratory

2007-12-13T03:42:00.000+08:00

mary had a little lamb is done!
like, kucking finally.
but we need alot of practice and stuff.
and we need either a guitarist or a screamer.
srsly i've been trying to do both but
that way i cant move around or have fun on stage(haha i wish)
and i like to be free and rather not to be stuck to the mic while playing riff after riff.
dammmzzz
jon like super lazy somemore. dont wanna learn the song. [pout mode]
jon actually can play guitar and keyboards but he's an asshole haha just kiding luv u
so today i forgot came together for a jamming session.
its so funny, i was on guitar instead of vox this time.
i brought my white guitar cause i intended on putting my amp and guitar at dom's.
the wonderful and great thing about the white one is that its heavier(2mi),
the strings were rusty and on top of that they were tuned to drop C.
i also lost 2 strings to grindcore today haha!
i realised that the strings were dropC when i got there, then i had to tune it up to drop d,
which made the strings really tight, thus making it easier to snap.
and then when i was fooling around with some grind riffs bla bla i broke the A string.
and when that string breaks its like the 2nd most bad luck thingy to happen to a guitarist.
cause the a string isnt easy to break.
(too bad luck is a bunch of bullshit)+(the 1st most bad luck thingy is for the E string to snap. that shit is nasty)
haha funny thing is that when i was (video)recording one of our takes of the song,
the b string snapped halfway and i had to improvise on the break down, solo, blablalbalbla.
it was weird cause it was like four strings lmao.
dom was like hey when you leave your guitar here i can play it cause it has transformed its power into bass.
hahahhah.
so im really happy the song is finished.
we hung around at dom's for awhile then went off to the
z2h-supposed-to-be-housewarming-but-turned-get-together bbq.
ARRAN HAD TO GO HOME FOR SOME URGENT SHIT(sarcasm)
so whatever mannnzzxx me and dom met up with small jon @ tanah merah to go to
dover, take bus 74, and stop at the 9th stop.
haha!
we memorized that so that we would know how to get to the place we were going to go..
anywayzzzzz
got there and went to mac's hq hah played at the drive thru(haha at the drive in)
ordered death burgerz.
if the video jon took wasnt sidewaez i'd show it to you!
so waited for our ride to the bbq, thanks john!(other john)
he gave us a lift to the place and we got there and ate and met people, weirdly we were the only ones from z2h, there.
srsly haha so met people i think and talked with our trainerzz.
i think i forgot(EXCEPT ARRAN..) really on la cause like we're always the only ones there 0.0
haha k la today i was pretty pist orf @ arran from not coming for sucha stupid gay reason but whatever laaaaa ur loss we got mustache :|)
kekekekkekekeh
super funny now me dom AND jon are growing out our mustaches cause wi r macho macho manzz.
so ate satay and lamb and stuff bwahaha lamb=gooood.
srsly loved the lamb.
had fun, laughs & great art making project on glass/fake snow.
got a ride from john to tanjong pagar mrt and mr.t-eed home.
cant wait to jam again but dom going to camp so gonna have to wait til like next week :(
byez dom.
the only reason im actually writing this entry cause im burning this thing for my mom and i cant off the com til its done heh.
gonna fallenz asleepen soonzsh neh.
k night guys bye.

PS SMALL JON STOP SAYING NEH NEH POK.
& im too lazy to check my english so fk it im singaporean.

rain, rain, dont go away.

2007-12-10T18:45:00.001+08:00

as promised,

(:

am i a bad person?

2007-12-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

idk i struggle with that question alot.
sometimes i wake up at 5 o'clock and just wonder wtfuz is wrong with me.
damn.
anyway i missed church today cause of my bad sleeping habits and went to the mall to eat with my mom.
had sushi damn i missed itttt i love corn sushi :d delich.
walked around went alot of places (in century square and tampines mall)
spent most of the time WAITING for my beloved mother and sister(she joined us at sakae)
to pick out SHOES.
grlzz :/ :)
i had 2 weird dreams today haha.
dreams that made me want to go back to sleep and dream somemore, really.
sometimes dreams are REALLY, REALLY amazing.
like wow, i didnt think that i would even think of some stuff.
there was difficult puzzles and intricate math problems in my head that i made myself solve
in this weird competition against some of my friends.
it was made by the great comic genius Stan Lee.
srsly, there was some weird and REALLY TOUGH puzzles! like wtfffuz.
so the past week has been fun i guess
science centre, procrastication homeworking, cleaning my room 0.0.
saturday i went to sentosa with e.g.
haha i had fun playing frizbee and eating shit 711 food graahzx.
had great fellowship and made nice friends :)
chuek man went for some orgy party later on hahahah luv u cheuk just kiddinnnngz.
tuesday's sibani's birthday so maybe gonna do something coolz on that day but since that's homework day im gonna have to move it to TOMORROW which means tmr i have
to finish alot of shit damn :(
oh well works gots to be dones some times.
so i'll prolly post a picture post later or tmr cause im lazy now goodnight mwah :D

beauty does not wear make up

2007-12-03T02:19:00.000+08:00

so i am back from camp, it was fun i guess :)
maybe abit disappointed but the last night touched my heart
like that was the best of all the days i guess.
cant elaborate much on camp, besides 'fun' and 'exciting'.
i think my sarcasm streak is really getting to my brain.
extreme cleverly planned december is as follows,
monday freeee
tuesday homework and guitar practice
wednesday free/jamming
thursday guitar/homework
friday freeeee
weekends usually full anyway :)
so today, i caught a rainbow with my hands.
went to the pokemon show with i forgot and had loads of fun.
nah, present for you allll

so we took pictures with them after spending exactly30 bucks at tampines mall.
that was the catch i guess, if you spend 30 bux at a shop in tampines mall, you get a
pass to take a picture with pokemon.
so we were like, how the kuck are we gonna spend 30bux.
(MOVIEEEE)
so we bought tickets for OM SHANTI OM at 9.05
HAHAHAhahaHaha
so the pokemon show was like at 7, we were waiting to get our passes at 5.30
(SINGAPOREAN)
so waited bla bla and ONLY GOT THE 3RD pass!
wow there are real singaporean parents in singapore.
hahah, so..HEY ALL MY SENTENCES START WITH SO. omgz.
anyway, went to eat and then off to pkmn surprise extreme.
took videos while waiting(that video to be exact)
and the show started (retarded show)
then off to take pictures! i mean, PICTURE.
haha we found out all the people inside the pokemon were chicks and
i held charmander's arm!
yay.
hopefully she's hot or something lmao.
after pictures we went to dom's place for dinner since there was still time.
got to the theater at 9.12 like that and were like shit starting.
btw our plan was to buy this indian movie ticket so we could get to the third floor,
and then sneak into Hitman.
SUCCESS!
haha hitman was pretty br00tzal :>
in a good way.
kekekekkekeh.
the movie was NC16 and im like 15 wow my gangsta/reebel-e-ous points are soring now omgz.
hahahah.
there was fuck, boobs and blood.
alot of all of them lmao.
but hitman had a really gay ending.
oh well, it was good i guess.
hitman and pokemon with my band.
that's a great day for meez :B

when all else fails

2007-11-26T19:48:00.000+08:00

camp is tomorrow.
'yay'.
heh not exactly jumping out of my seat for this one but im sure i will be sooner or later.
got some new shirts my mom and sister bought me.
sam gave me one on sunday too ;)
thanks, much.
so my weekend was pretty tiring.
well basically sunday.
last week was mainly spent jamming and staying over.
last thursday i forgot got together at dom's condo to jam.
we ended up watching mortal kombat, then elyana and nadyaa all of them came over to swim,
so we got up off our asses and tried to continue mary had a little lamb.
after getting as far as we could(not very)
we went to go swim with them haha had lotsa fun.
me and arran stayed over at dom's that day and had ALOT of fun.
this included smoshing(making videos of us doing retard things)
also, we gayed around, watching stuff, watched ghost rider(gay movie)
i mean, its okay. but sucky concept to me.
then we fell asleep and then woke up 0.0
haha, after lazing around for awhile, playing worms and metal slug.
then we jammed and got the 2nd verse down.
saturday i just lazed around the house cause on friday i slept late grr.
sunday was awesome!
went over to redhill for the first day of z2h3, we're not participating but went to support the bands and meet our beloved instructors again :)
had alot of fun there, then went off to church, and after church went to redbar for rewind.
it was alright.
i think i missed the really good bands cause i came in the evening, but i caught charis'
boyfriend's band.
they were good, not my favourite genres but good music.
the last band was really, really weak.
i honestly thought they kinda stank.
not musically but they played hawthorne heights, my chemical romance and some other shit.
idk.
i just dont like those band's music.
well them actually, anyway.
stayed around for the after party, drank abit(VERY abit...? >:@)
then went off, i met shaun daryl on the way out.
went to take 12 home, and... i was sleeping, but suddenly they woke me up to get off the bus cause genius boy, corey, had to puke.
we only had a bourbon coke,& it was shared by like 3 people 0.0
and he needed to puke, he was the 18 year old haha.
prolly the bus ride. anyway, we got off, he 'puked', we went to 711 and went out cause the guy was being a jerk, went to ntuc instead to get some (non-alcoholic)drinks and chips and went off to wait for another bus.
waitwaitwaitwaitwaited, got home and showered and SLEPT.
DAD woke me up this morning really loudly and i was off to finish i forgot's first song.
we got it all down today just need to practice it and just get it really tight(ANDFRESH HAHA)
got there(it was really raining really badly, really.) and took off my pants when i got there,
then we(i) jammed with just my boxers.
my pants were soaked!
grah.
before jamming we watched mortal kombat 2 and laughed our ass off at criticizing arran's
lousy perv humor.
after jamming, we hung around for awhile and arran watched/read bangla hentai lmao.
wtfuzz, i know.
while he watched his fun we(me and dom) watched the simpsons and after that something else i just forgot.
hahahha, so that's my weekend.
OH YEA, i forgot! at the gig i got punched in the nose.
even though the mosh pit wasnt the biggest, there were some br00tzal moments and i got my nose busted in one :(
like right after this fist came flying in my face i seriously saw SPARKS around me.
then i looked at my hands and
blood was trinkling down from the tip of my nose onto my hands
i was like woow. blud.
went to the nice smell toilet and washed my face bla bla.
the organizer guy was a really nice guy :) he brought me upstairs to get my nose cleaned etc.
we headbanged to this band i forgot the name of but they played 24 hours by as i lay dying.
no idea why i just mentioned that but idk what ever im tireeed night guys,
imma go pack my bags for camp now k ha, bye :)

animal submarine

2007-11-19T21:54:00.001+08:00

so i missed lsb to go to nadya's dance competition,
and i didn't regret it :)
it was okay i guess, i forgot felt racially discriminated most of the time lol but i
met a hoody buddy at kfc ;)
we did alot of stupid things and shit and retartt.
after the dance competition we went to eat at woodlands, walked around.
i bought my sesame street bag there and dom bought his winx club phanney pak.
we also went to this shit music shop and the guy was a real asshole.
cant be bothered to explain that bit.
we had fun at kiddy palace and shouted "i saw vanessa naked" and tried on koolz hatz.
after that headed to tampines to slack around and walked nadya home and went to drink and swim at dom's condo but apparently swimming after 10 is prohibited 0.0
so was in the pool for about 2 minutes.
i went to peepee so only nadiah and arran got like really wet and then had to come out again.
totally wasted.
well then we slacked at the nearby sitting thingy and drank dom's brother's vodka he kindly shared with us.
arran scared to get drunk again haha :D
also drank abit of the leftover rum from the bbq.
went off around 12 cause nadiah's brother was screaming for house keyzz.
grr.
so we're going to dom's again on tues..no.. wed...no.. thursday!
graaah.
so far away.
its for possibly jamming, drinks, swimming, ordering dinner and having a blast again.
basically post-chalet haha.
cant wait til that.
sunday was church day :)
went with mom.
i really missed church.
felt like i've been missing it for like 315234 years.
really great to feel God again smiling at me :D
i love God many many but not as much as he loves me.
and you too! :D
we kinda fought abit but god is taking/took care of our relationship.
hallelujah.
so after church i went to pasir ris to meet paul and the rest to celebrate wenhui's birthday.
was really fun and great seeing them again.
missed them loads.
they crashed at my place and we walked from pasir ris to my house ahha.
on the way we caught 2 lizards!
but we let one go
haha it was really funny and fun + nice.
we ate alot of noodles this morning haha retartd.
i guess its worth it having to wash up for their mess and clean my room after they DeStRoyEd
it. ahahah just kidding guys it is worth it really ;)
so woke up to 3 guys next to me haha :D
tmr's dinner's @ grandma's so yay <:B cant wait! im just so bored at this moment of times butted grah anyway ttyl, love, bye!

where to go from here

2007-11-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

so this week has been packed.
monday was chinatown, dimsum with grandma, mom and marika :)
tasted gooddddddd mmmhmmm.
but i honestly have to say grandma does it best.
ha ;)
tuesday was jamming day and we finished intro-verse-chorus-verse-chorus so far.
actually the song doesnt really have a structure but we just had to name it something
to avoid confusion.
after jamming for quite abit we went to tampines mall cause dom needed boxers and some
shit from guardian(kotex, whisper, etc.)
kekekeh.
so we had seriously a great time monkeying around at toys r us.
bought TaToO TaPe(ultimate hxc cool stuff)
here's a picture of dom trying the boxers. in public.

haha he's so handsome.
agumon4lyf br00tzal.
anyway, the next day i met up with my neighbours petrina and corey, and dominic and tol(i think)
tol is pet's friend, so we went to the world's collide gig thingamajig.
it was at first disappointing, started a full hour late.first few bands were alright.
but as soon as For Better Endings came on.
i think the party really started.
the hxc dancers got their stuff on.
the sucky part was that alot of people were assholes and just sat the whole gig through.
if your gonna come to a gig you dont just sit down you know.
support the bands you love. you dont need to mosh. stand?
idk. it kinda pissed me off.
the pit was crazy at times. after some bands we needed to piss so we went out, came back and the 2nd last band(little girl terrorist) was playing.
they were good. but i think because of the last few bands people were tired(like me) from moshing and just stood around.
the last band The Arrant End kinda stank compared to previous ones but they were good i guess.
the sound system was kinda fked so i wouldnt know.
they covered songs from underoath and funeral for a friend.
not my favourite, personally i dont like ffaf at all except some songs off casually dressed.
at the end of it i really enjoyed myself and had a blast.
went home with bruises and at around 1am but whatever, it was pretty much worth it.

thurs/friday was/is CHALET DAY!
had a blast drinking and doing completly retarded stuff.
there was abit of controversy and money issues but in the end,
i can say i had manymany fun(s).
:)
arran got WAZTEDD hahaha it was seriously funny but not when he threw up it was
kinda nasty.
besides him not many people got tipsy that bad.
he was srsly hilarious.
we did alot of stupid shit like dance to this gay techno song(courteousy of arran)
also, we put on like really heavy shit like mortal treason and moshed/hxc danced.

faeze was a friendship asshole and started punching everyone in the stomach instead of moshing and dancing we all were like wtfuzz on the flrrrz hahahah PAINFUL.L..
ate alot, cooked alot, mushmellowed too(HAHAHHA nice spelling)
had a blast staying up and playing card games,
mafia with different characters like
instead of mafia, medic, police & civilians,
we changed it to chi ko pek, dog owner, spca & dogs. lol everyone were dogs.
and died br00tzal deths like having a telephone stuck up their ass.
also there was serial rapist, mother(sends the girls for counseling), father(finds the rapist) & 7 'fresh' girls.
it was actually a parody of the Tab TV episode yesterday haha and it was hilarious.
dominic and arran are really good game masters with 'great' story lines LOL+z.
there was ALSO polar bear, ambulance(on various shiftslmao), hunter guy and ezkimo bitches.
lmao it was so fun.
by the time we finished those games the sun had come out and we finished the whiskey, vodka and 3/4 of the rum.
we were like really tired and we walked to downtown east to grab a bite at macs.
i still think zahir is totally disgusting but funny at the same time and i dont think its
a good idea to tellyou guys what he did/does so forget that haha :D
came back to the chalet and lazed around, (they)packed up, and then left around 10+am.
super lethargic at that time and me and dom waited for a cab for like 21342343 hours.
then finally a cab came but these assmonkeys stole it as they went infront of us and flagged.
wtfuzz!
so we waited and hallelujah another one came.
praizeeeeee jessusss!
super happy, then we went home.
then i got home, watched the first 15 minutes of nanny mcphee and fell asleep til about 6/7.
then i watched some other shows on the shitvision, and then came online and started typing on this thing :D :B
okay til next time!
loads of love guys!
:) (heartthing)

i need to start cursing.

2007-11-12T02:43:00.000+08:00

and I thought this time was different,
and I thought you'd come around.
when you said you finally figured out what you had been missing.
but call off the roses,
she doesn't need to know what I've got planned.

i forgot

2007-11-08T13:55:00.000+08:00

our first original is coming out nicely but we're really weirded out with the current line up.
its called mary had a little lamb :)
one day you guys will hear it, i think it'll blow your mind!
its so exciting.
after that we'll be covering some songs.
from really scene shit like lady in a blue dress to scooby doo, jet, and drop dead gorgeous.
hell yea, the holidays are starting to look up.
the next week is gonna be packed!
monday's free, tues is paul's school performance thingy, wed's the world collide gig,
thurs/fri= class chalet, saturday is lime sonic bang but im totally not going cause im going to support nadya in her dance thingy! :D
sunday is church day, that's really really awesome :)
hopefully we can record some stuff or get a gig or something.
but first i guess we gotta get an appropriate line up and get tight.
see you guys in the moshpit.

you whispered hearts into my ears,
exonerated all of my fears.
stay alive for the sunrise.

honesty

2007-11-04T22:53:00.000+08:00

primary school subject, heh.
but honestly, lies corrode and eat away friendships, relationships, lives.
i will never say i never have lied in my life, but i can say that i always tried to
let the truth be known at one point of time.
sometimes we lie for the sake of face.
i cant blame anyone for that.
but, i cant forget about it either.
life is tough.
thank god for god.
things have been really rough these days.
i've felt rejection, betrayal, shoddiness and really, really lonely.
i'm glad to say my brother has finally replied!
after a year, gosh its weird how time is gone.
another year, rushed past just like that.
met up with his mother afew days ago.
my mom and his talked alot alot.
it was weird, i always knew her but never seen her.
she's actually really pretty :3
but it made me miss miki quite abit.
gah.
anyway, i miss people.
the way they were, the way things were.
but these things i have no control over.
i can only pray for favorable change.
like for the sun to come out so i can go outside and play.
i miss, you.

bad miki

2007-10-31T19:01:00.000+08:00

i love my brother :)

iou an ilu

2007-10-29T16:31:00.000+08:00

its been way too long hasn't it?
well, i was up til 6 today uploading pictures unto friendster but friendster is shit so it was almost like, one picture in 12minutes.
it kinda pissed me off, but i went friendstering and the time passed really quickly.
so what has happend so far?
today's my dad's birthday :)
happy birthday dad! i really love you many many!
even though you'll prolly never see this but if you ever do, i want you to know ilu!
so exams are over.
i flunked, but made it through!
by God's grace, honestly.
it couldn't have been anything else.
cause i only passed my english and pure bio.
but i walk in the finished work! and i am under grace :)
so yay, praise jesus im secondary 4 next year :3
soo what has happend since the last update?
i have been slacking, sleeping, playing.
recently, i was out with the guys at orchard like twice looking for something to get my dad but we didnt get anything in the end.
just alot of old chang kee :)
so the last resort was on saturday cause sunday was church day and i doubt i'd have the time or the means to get a nice present.
i wanted to get some novelty thing he could use and like laugh at,
and smth that had to do with beer.. or guitars.
so on sat after caregroup i planned to go to parkway with sibani to get smth for my dad,
but because i was a little early i went and looked around first and bought this glass with
drink, drank, drunk on it.
:) thought it was cute so i got that
after walking around parkway and the pasarmalam, i headed to the bus stop to meet sibb.
waited abit, wrote abit then bull person came!
hel0 sibani if you're reading this!
yeah talked for awhile then she went off.
then i went to the beeech for a little while, was a little late so i couldnt stay there for very long.
so got home, blabla, sleepy time.
then sunday was churchday!
it was great, went with mom.
went fourth, had lotsa fun and bought cake on the way home.
when we got home i went on the com and waited til 12 to give my dad the cake and his present ;)
was shortlived but pretty :B
the previous week, the last week of school(finally)
there was this outing thingy to the airport(what the fuzz, i know)
so took loads of pictures with i forgot and various people.
what a stupid place to have a math trail.
completely retarded, but it was fun.
well, the trail itself was stupid and gay.
but of course, the airport was a very fun place to be at.
plus with great friends, how unfun could it get.
thurs was the last day of school, was grrrr-ate!.
i got my results on that day, felt like screaming hallelujah cause i made it to sec4.
cant wait to see you guys again next year!
more importantly, the chalet!
met up with elyana, nadya, dom and arran to book/discuss the chalet thing at pasir ris.
so actually its supposed to be a bbq, but ely's having a chalet so we're just gonna crash her party
and pay her for the bbq :)
[cover up story]
soo anywayyy
we played retarded games while waiting for mrs tan to transfer the money to book the chalet.
it was very gay, but very fun :)
srsly really excited for the chalet.
so oogabooga to all my businessman guys ;)
til next time!

ps.
go to my friendster to see all the stupid shit we did at orchard :)
www.friendster.com/biteme!

so close.

2007-10-08T10:45:00.000+08:00

dont think about your next bite, think about what's in your mouth.
the weekend was planned to be packed with books and smiles and laughs.
and it happend, but in a very drastic and different way.
i got stomach flu on friday and it started out with a fever.
i thought it'd go away but 3 panadols with codeine did not shake the pounding in my head.
i went to sleep and i woke up drenched in my own sweat.
mom helped me.
thank you mom.
i do alot of shit to you but idk why you always help me.
ily.
and yea, i couldn't reply to alot of messages cause most of the time i was sleeping or trying to get to sleep.
around 3 in the morning(saturday) i got up and my stomach hurt like hell.
it started constricting and pulsating til i threw up friday's lunch.
thank god i found the toilet in time.
so i felt terrible for awhile or more than, but found myself asleep again.
later in the morning, before sunrise i woke up again.
a person can only sleep so much i suppose.
so i got up, achy head, screwed stomach.
i stood in faith that my daddy would heal me cause he is faithful.
even though my faith hindered, his faith wouldn't cause he never gives up on me.
everyone can give up on me.
i can give up on myself.
but God will never give up on me.
neither will he, you.
so i worshiped as much as i possibly could, i cried alot.
the pain was seriously unbearable.
i once heard that a fever should be cured with alllottt of cold water.
so i gulped down a bottle and started puking it all out.
thank god again the rubbish bin was right infront of me!
btw, at this point of time i didnt know it was stomach flu
and i didnt actually know what was stomach flu so.
mom planned to bring me to the doctor's to get me some meds but i dreaded the trip.
i already felt like shit and now i have to walk through the whole market to the doctor's.
so a dragged my feet and prayed for strength.
and He delivered.
i got there at the right place and at the right time.
as soon as i was there the nice nurse, who knew me since i was primary 1,
told us it was our turn and we went into the doctor place thingy.
hallelujah for favor.
so i was diagnosed with stomach flu and had to eat porridge, take carbon pills
and a whole lotta other stuff.
got home.
took my meds a headed to rest.
my friends really helped keep my faith strong
everyone encouraged me in daddy with really sweet messages
and how they knew about my illness idk.
thank you daddy for kingdom friendships like these :)
love you guys!
so i watched cartoons, went online for abit, and at nightfall, i felt weirdly better.
and from what i heard it was around the same time paul, darrel and all of them prayed for me!
hallelujah! god is wonderful isn't he.
Jesus is nice ;)
that's an understatement.
then i woke up at six in the morning, no more puke, no more headaches, alil' stomach trouble
but god pulled me through it.
i woke again at dawn and amazingly got my book in hand.
i started studying, something i was so worried i wouldn't be able to do since i was sick.
today was geography and though i didnt finish the paper, i know it is blessed!
:)
im really happy now and cant wait to conquer tomorrow with jesus!
after tomorrow its parrrrrty!
gonna have lots of fun and pictures for you guys to look at mkayy?
later aligators ;>

2007-10-01T16:25:00.000+08:00

these broken branches have brought me no good.
these bread crumbs have been a waste of food.
i found a little light that led to the moon.
i really hope they let me out of this cocoon.
don't touch me with those hands honey,
who knows where they've been.
one day we will go to a place without shadows.
for now we must stick with the meadows.
the trees, they plead not to cease.
their faces, aged.
arms, tired.
yet they fear death aswell.
its alot easier when you know what your looking for in this mess.
all the king's horses and all the king's men,
couldn't fix me back together again.
i finally felt the words i only heard of before.
i keep your smiles so i can use them when i need them.
but there's a hole in my pocket.
the heart can only break so many times.
these lies i've told have only brought plagues full of morbid air.
these grim tales i've told have got me no where, i swear.
i bought a facade of help with this dirty currency.

missing

2007-09-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

hello, i know it's been awhile.
well lots of stuff has been happening and are still happening.
i don't know why but i feel somewhat left behind.
this past few weeks have been awesome and sad and real.
i've witnessed my dad for the first time.
it was so. idk how to describe it.
i felt my dad love me. maybe not for the first time, but for the most significant.
a simple movie brought us really really close.
even though he on the borderline between sober and crunk but i think that
that is when he's the most honest.
and even though my parents fight like mad, i still wouldn't trade them for anything.
also, i've taken up studying instead of wasting my day.
and i have one week to catch up 3 terms worth of stuff.
imma get through this with my daddy in heaven helping me through.
i kinda miss alot of things, people actually.
i miss i forgot alot.
i miss alot of my friends alot.
i think the exam period is taking it's toll on me and my network.
i kinda miss the mic.
well i pray that during this time we won't stray apart,
but continue to be strung together by the hands of our daddy above us :)
for now, i'm hitting the books.
God bless your mind for the road ahead!
it's going to be so victorious in the following weeks.
later.

happy/sad bittersweet. (i forgot)

2007-09-07T01:13:00.000+08:00

so z2h is done with.
it was on my list of to-dos, but suddenly i wish i don't have to strike
z2h performance off that, uh list.
the day we won 2nd and z2h ended sucked,
but it was one of the best days of my life.
we celebrated like crazy afterwards.
laughed so hard.
we really had a blast.
but the sad part about having fun is leaving it behind you as you walk home.
now we suddenly have no reason to stay together besides brotherly love.
and i think this 6 piece band can stick together ;)
i really really love you bunch and it sucks not having to go back to redhill.
now we have the sudden uab thing that i'm really excited about.
Jesus is really good at surprises.
first i met a group of great buds, and we got along so much better than i thought.
anyway, the uab thing was a really weird surprise cause
we were at this sucky studio we were complaining for idk how long about the great quality instruments and suddenly,
this guy pops in with 10 bucks and we made a video for him.
and then, who knew it could(& WOULD!) get us 1500bux.
post-z2h has been seriously awkward.
like, first it was a heavy load on my back and time.
but after i ran for 3 months, i get to put down this backpack.
but, i dont really want to.
i'm either used to the load or am happy carrying it cause i share it with 5 other people :)
God, please keep this band together.
afew days after the performance we met up again and did stupid stuff.
went playgrounds actually.
we broke the swing at the first playground, we tried fixing it back but :(
arran became superman and 'beat' us all up.
(but i love him times 6 triplekick!)
joshua successfully shocked the shit out of a frog and killed it.
(but i love him! not his monster...)
dominic...... hya..gay
(but i love him N3RD!)
jon, another gay.
(but i..........like him quite abit... but abit scared of him. kinda.)

ha! anyway, 2nd playground we played crocodile and
listened to happy sounds of a shrieking woman.
soon after making a ruckus, we got caught by the police and the old man Joshua
got off the hook cause he's above 16 :/
grr.
but it was fun and definitely worth it cause yeh, i love these guys.
police are nothing compared to them.
we proceeded home after that and yea.
yesterday i went to a barbecue with the Super guys and ate alot of raw shit.
haha it was super fun!
we biked, played, cooked, overcooked, joked, ran.
had loads of fun, too bad chuek man had to leave so early :/
tuesday i went to ecp with my bros darrel and teckT :)
had such a ultraman scolding people(nerds) and looking for pontianakzzz
burying bottles, trying to manual our mountain bikes lol.
teckt, stop analing people and their bikes pls. anw,
we caught fish, stepped on them. gosh. we did alot of dumb stuff.
these holidays, though short, was probably my best.
nah, present for you all:

(my favorite song we performed was mary had a little lamb (; mostest funnest!)
and to my beloved band members in I Forgot.
i love you guys alot, see you at band practice, 6 o'clock, but be abit earlier C;
don't gg, wth? goodnight.

PS. the prize money is nothing compared to the things i've gotten in z2h, & i thank God for the friendships strengthened and made in the process. God bless you guys. i love you i forgot! very much :)
<33758900988663542543247+7!!!

with love comes loss

2007-08-29T17:36:00.000+08:00

the end of the term is drawing near.
today's lessons were the last of their kind as the end of year exams
would crush all hopes of complacency.
i have come to realize, there is a time of everything.
a time to be born, a time to die Ecclesiastes 3
every day people are put in and taken out of this world.
and it's starting to be more empty then full.
more and more people are being taken out of distant parts of my life.
and i've also noticed that every day is a day someone special dies.
and a day someone special comes into this world.
a day someone loses their love,
a day someone finds their's.
today i'm sure there's a funeral.
and i'm sure that there's a wedding.
a day for mourning and a day for joy.
but everyday is a day for you to tell all those you love,
exactly how you feel about them.
because the sand is trickling down that funnel like bend.
and after it falls down it doesn't climb back up.

_______

2007-08-21T16:37:00.000+08:00

& I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
& every wave drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

And I'll have you know I'm scared to death.

sick.

2007-08-18T15:10:00.000+08:00

i am sick of falling down.
my knees ache.
i'm just so tired of this circle.
i need, something.
someone.
where are you?
please, just show me something.
i've done nothing significant at all.
i've only disappointed.
who am i of worth to?
i'm barely putting each foot infront of the other,
dragging each step.
time is slow at the wrong times and fast at the right.
where are you?

drapes.

2007-08-07T19:14:00.000+08:00

i'm guessing scarealot's gonna get a bit more attention nowadays.
yesterday(monday) i went to cut my hair, and my sides are completely gone 0.0
got my devil's lock but my back is too short to spike and my front is not that long lol.
one day i might show you guys.
wow i'm full of 'one day's. oh i went to pulau ubin today.
i ate berries, BITTER-AS-CRUNK leaves, shoots, coconuts, tropical almonds, public toilets, you name it lol.
it kinda cool. i didn't even get bitten by bugs(thank you God(:)
pretty much it, still thinking of baybeats.
grrrrrrrrrrrr.
oh yeah and my teacher pissed me off today.
:) that's it, toodles.

empty, hollow.

2007-08-06T19:51:00.000+08:00

hello :)
yeah that's the only video i could find, so far of baybeats.
i am EXTREMLY proud to say i was at baybeats which i thank God for.
it was like, just shocking.
okay so here's the story.
OH YEAH, btw, i apologize my weekend has been packed and i've been away from the computer for like, way long.
so anyway, my past week has been really, shaky but i think overall a really great one. i went rock climbing :)
haha, i was absent for like thursday and friday, and my dad got really pissed.
i know that it is my fault. and i felt really horrid.
like such a user. grr. i hate that feeling.
get behind me satan. anyway.
saturday, dare &baybeats :)
COMPLETLY AWESOME DAY
i woke up late, disappointed more people like i used to always do.
but that's a habit i'm sick of having.
and i'm happy to say its not my problem anymore.
okay so woke up, went to suntec
got there and met the guys
ariel made for me and teckt fried rice :)
though i didnt have much, it was yum! :D
yea and then went for dare and had an awesome time.
it seemed different yet exactly the same.
but i finally felt like Marlon and not, well notmarlon.
after thatsss i headed to dinner and hanged there for awhile
before heading for A Vacant Affair's set.
honestly, i only went to baybeats to catch ava,
cause they are like one of my favourite local bands.
they are the only band i have ever tabbed out a full song by ear and transposed it into an acoustic.
maybe i'll video it and show it to you guys one day, but.
maybe may never come. hah!
yeah so me, reginald and teckt went over to the esplande and met up with dominic, my classmate, and his other friend.
so we headed to the bay, and followed the music to this female-led, band playing.
they were okay.. but i really don't like girl singers.
except for afew exceptions of mine.
yeah and i was pretty bummed because i didn't hear ava when they annouced
which bands were gonna take the stage after these guys.
so, dragging my feet we walked off, like just wandering until we heard, AVA!
then we like went to the OTHER stage(sudden revelation) and there they were.
we only got like 2&1/2 songs worth of them, and the pit was that fantastic.
i didn't have enough time to take off my jacket
or give my bag to my sister, who was GOD KNOWS WHERE.
so i just moshed with my bag and jacket lmao.
so we went into hxc circles and such, dancing and ooga booga.
they really put on such an awesome show.
ava, thank you.
then i heard one of my favorite Christian bands like ever,
were supposed performing later in the night!
like, wtf! i didn't even know they were here!
man that really got my blood flowing.
but we headed to find my sister, claire and joshua.
they were just sitting down in the park blowing bubbles
and we went to chill and join them.
after making a gigantic circle, we realised they were sitting a short walk away from the stage, so we just went to put down stuff and hang.
we went back as soon as we heard music, we=me,reg,dom,hisfriendwhosnameistillcantremember.
minus the bag, the jacket, handphones, wallet.
oh yeah teckt left before ava set's was over cause i think he couldn't take it.
OH YEH and reginald barfed after the moshy bit, it was awesomee.
we made our way to the stage and it was the punk alternative band The Love Song.
hailing all the way from hongkong disneyland(:
so the crowd i guess was pretty tired from ava's set so there wasn't a very energetic crowd
amidst the really radical music atmosphere.
they had a really unique sound, but after the 3rd song i guess, it got kinda old heh :(
yeah and we just stood there for awhile, until there was a little hxc circle at a corner, as soon as i saw that i rushed over there as the music kinda grew louder and more moshable(:
but soon i realised my 'buddies' -rolls eyes- were still at the standing-watching-the-performance-and-not-having-much-fun place.
grr so i walked back to them and was like HEY WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT YOOOOOO
haha, no worries, just stood around for awhile then headed back to sit down awhile.
so after a few bubbles, laughs, and a toilet break, we heard blindside after a orchestral kind of performance.
so we went back there and it was like woooooah packed.
but we pushed our way through and got to the pit.
that's when the real fun started.
most of the time i was alone cause the rest were like scttered everywhere but i still felt not alone.
familiar screams and melodies resonated around the whole area and i really started to just
have alot of fun, moshing and brushing against sweaty people :)
at some point of time i punched someone and i think it went the wrong way and my nail kinda flipped the other side.
left thumb actually, its still like half off the thumb but haha i think it was worth it.
i fell down loads of times but the guys there just picked me up.
helped afew people surf and kept afew on the waves and caught afew, being their personal mattresses at times.
lmao, had loads of fun there.
like after the third song i felt like just resting for awhile cause everywhere just got so sore,
but idk why i just kept moving, crashing.
it was really just so fwoar.
they played
caught a glimpse, the way you dance, pitiful, fell in love with the game, eye of the storm(i think),
follow you down too if i'm not wrong.
afew more aswell. i think.
they had real stage presence.
during the last song, i really wanted to get above the crowd and i asked this guy and he just picked me up and wow it was seriously something.
like, weightless!
pretty additive actually.
i'm really just craving for another show to get to.
after the show i went back all sore and such.
oh yeah i met reginald during the last song haha he made his way the the front i guess :)
then i got carried away lmao.
so it was awesome.
headed to the park place my sister and co. were at and sat for awhile, telling them the complete awesomeness that was off the shows ness less...
yeah and we headed to city hall mrt, i was pooped.
we actually made it on the LAST train towards pasir ris.
whew.
but as soon as me and my sister got to tampines, 5 minutes too late for the last bus.
so we walked home lmao :)
pretty much it,
on sunday had band practice, and a really refreshing church day :)
bible study with coach lily was really really blessed, thank you daddy.
so goodnight, have fun, maybe if you catch me i could show you the bruises i got from
bayBEATS.
:)
srsly, my back is like infected. with bruises. hahaha!
that's all folks ;)

we fall apart but we stand up together.

2007-07-30T21:42:00.000+08:00

yeap, there's been quite abit of controversy everywhere but i'm glad He still holds us up.
all your weaknesses, you can do without.
give them to your daddy, and he'll return you with strength.
i love all of you guys, don't feel left out or whatever okay, we're one big family :)
so yesterday it was church day :)
had band practice before church,
rushed down right after.
came in at a good & blessed time ;)
i really received alot, especially at coach lily's bible study after.
even though we don't do homework you still give us those encouraging smiles :)
yeah then went to penplaza cause some people wanted pants and shirts so justfollowlawww.
yeh took afew pictures and the mrt back :D
pretty much it, today i had school haha
it was okay, left early for clb, got home, changed, watched abit of tv :P
then as i was waiting for the bus, it started to pour and pour.
so i just went back up
cause honestly i couldn't have made it because of the distance between the school and the busstop and the POURING RAINNNNN.
so just went home, watched the longest yard.
i really liked it :)
and then i went on the computer and nice stuff like that yo
my music tastes have turned to the right and left.
i love the devil wears prada's new album.
and also alot of indish, slow, melodic songs have been filling my head.
yeap, so currently, i'm pretty much

death cab for cutie
the devil wears prada
hot hot heat
lower definition
playradioplay!
refused

so goodnight folks :)
love keeps us all together.

street lights and smoke

2007-07-28T23:13:00.000+08:00

boo! so summaryinging my weekend!
on friday darrel came over and we did alot of dumb things,
like pee out the window(ok that was basically him).
yeah so first he came over and we planned to just slack around
and then head over to paul's but evidently darrel's ezlink card couldn't take the distance
so he crashed at mine instead.
so in the afternoon we just slacked arounnddd and talked and stuff.
in the late afternoon we went to the mall to disturbzz hahahah
darrel wanted to buy a shirt so i just followed him around the place
and we laughed at people, talked to people we thought we knew,
then upon leaving the mall,
we bought delifrancè,
I BOUGHT A .....THING-THAT-I-CANT-REMEMBER-WHAT-ITS-CALLED.
and he bought some apple thing, & BEIN
G THE VERY SMART PERSON HE WAS,
at the traffic light he threw the plastic bag into the air and attempted to catch it.
failing tragically, my TTICRWTC fell out of it and landed straight into a puddle.
we were like 'woooooooooow shiat' and being the EVEN SMARTER PERSON HE IS,
he grabbed it from the puddle and took a bite.
"it's okay what! i think didn't touch the thing la!"quote unquote.
i snatched it from him and threw it away, before he could eat more puddle.
we crossed the road to a pasar marlam, one of which i haven't been to in awhile :):)
so he treated me to a chicken wing and stuff yeh
haha yeah we walked around, talking to the store owners and stuff
asking stupid questions like if the chicken they got the wing from was dead or not.
yeah so after that we walked from the interchange to my place.
and went not normally walking, but TURBO CHARGING.
NOT my idea once again.
lmao its basically another form of running except it look way more retarded
and you get tired really quickly.
so we got to my place, hung out, ate abit and showered.
we talked in my room for awhile, then sat in the living room and drank bacardi rum.
not much left though, so amazingly darrel didnt turn red ;p
after that we headed down stairs to buy noodllleez and candy and
snapple then we went to the playground and swang on the swing :)
then went to the fitness corner and after doing the exact opposite of what
the exercise thing says your supposed to do,
we went over to posb shirtless cause darrel wanted to draw some money
and we were really hot so that's where the shirts went :?
yeh so after that, walked home and went online for awhile before finally
getting to sleep at around.. idk 4? we woke up at 11+
had breakfast, changed and headed out for the study seminar and fireworks at suntec :)
was with my systr, vivian, wenhui, ariel, joshua, claire and some logi guys hahaaa!
the fireworks were pretty..
pretty boring!
ahahah yeah not exactly wonderful and beautiful extremenessness.
i only really liked the smoke :3
okay that's pretty much it.
oh yeah btw i love my sister, my mom & dad and my great great friends, very very much.
goodnight!

you don't have to be blood to be family

2007-07-28T00:29:00.000+08:00

boo its 12:34am and darrel is beside me ;)
d- hello.. marlon like gay.. but he is a very nice gay.. haha.. joke king.. he simply suck.. but he is good at sex.
RIGHT.. so that's what he had to say about me. we're going to 711 with a bottle of Bacardi rum so lalalalalla see you.
d- yeah got bacardi and its NICE!! :)

PS, sorry guys. he's abit. erhm.. yeh :>

these pages will one day fray.

2007-07-27T16:04:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry, i didn't read the script.
i didn't know i was supposed to cry.
like a leaf, i sway with the wind.
i go where it takes me, i lead yet i follow.
there's no way i could tell what could've been.
sure, i miss you but it's not like this ever started.
it's weird waking up with one less person caring,
but then again who am i to say you don't.
i miss the butterflies, i miss the shaking.
and i dread the thought you weren't really there.

helo, i got to school today :)
i'm starting to hate my baggy school pants, every few seconds i have to pull them up :/
friday is the shortest day, but it always feels longer.
i had to do the DT i missed on monday arghh, i wrote about a dreamgig lol.
oh ya and i'm currently waiting for darrel leong an de to get over to my place.
he wants to borrow band shirt haha, with his red skinnies :)
darrel cute hah.
yesterday, after school, i actually went all the way to woodlands, and i live in tampines btw.
45minute 969 bus ride with alot of creepy nurses.
met darrel, paul, edwin, 2 chinese guys and this girl.
sorry i don't really know their names haha :D
we went to study and well, i ended up helping them in math and i didn't do sqwat.
okay be right back imma go pick up darrel, later ;)

good morning, carousel.

2007-07-25T19:27:00.000+08:00

round and round, life doesn't seem to matter
when you're spinning in circles.
everything just seems to whir around you,
something maybe everyone yearns for.
yeah, they say we've got it good.
but i still don't know why i want to be there.
maybe alone, maybe with someone special.
maybe just somewhere not here.
as far as i am, i can still catch my favorite horizon.
as far as i know, it could be right around the corner.

this is my first real post and i'm hoping to make it count.
so yea, for those who do know, i have decided to get back to having an internet back-up journal.
since i'm almost constantly misplacing and throwing away things i initially wanted.

:) school today. after waking up late(as usual) i walked really quickly to school and actually got on time, unlike my 2 previous attempts on monday and tuesday.
i tried my best today, with dad of course and i think i did pretty alright for today.
i had a math test today and i'm pretty confident imma pass, not by effort but by his grace ;)
i kind of miss talking to people. i seem to have lost contact with many people these days.
maybe everyone's just busy, N levels, golf, blarh.
yesterday i received a new song which i'm pretty happy with so far :)
i've been hooked on goodbye tomorrow and alot of mellow slower songs today.
really different from my last playlist.
so here's the current sounds i'm into.

death cab for cutie
name taken
goodbye tomorrow
ten second epic
hot hot heat
dashboard confessional
between the trees
playradioplay!
these arms are snakes
hey mercedes